I hope you Queens had a wonderful Christmas day! I had a great time with family; that’s the best part of Christmas for me. When I was smaller the best part of the day was opening gifts, but as I get older it’s really about the time spent and memories made with family.
With all Good Wishes
for Christmas and the New Year
Stay Naturally Fabulous Queens
Hey Queens, on June 3rd I celebrated my 23rd birthday. It’s absolutely crazy how time flies. It seems like just yesterday I couldn’t imagine finally being 18. Now, time never seems to creep anymore rather it seems to blow right pass. It’s easy to take for granted the little beauties of life especially when it seems to be going at full speed. Everyday I start my mornings off with a prayer of thanks. Every now and then I write in a journal. I usually consult my journal either when I’m really happy or I’m really low. Either way, I always start it off by saying what I’m especially thankful for that day. The idea originated from my older sis, Lisa (founder of www.kinks-rule.blogspot.com). It’s interesting because every time I open my journal I look back at older entries, and I read about one struggle I was in the midst of at that given time and now a month or so later I am no longer in that position. It’s funny because when your in the midst of what appears to be a catastrophe you can’t imagine how your going to get out of it. My journal is a constant reminder that my current ‘catastrophe’, whatever it may be, is not the first I’ve encountered and will not be my last; if I just hold on everything will be alright. And everything IS alright. I realized a while back that life is wonderful when you allow it to be. This quote sums it all up for me: “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style”-Maya Angelou. So when things get a little too routine I often stop to ask myself ‘Are you living or simply existing?’ …. Are you living?
Bday (Me and Amir)
Recently, I finished my first year of law school, meanwhile my son finished his Kindergarten year in elementary school. Watching him grow is the best part of my life. Though I cherish every moment of him in his early years, I am anxious and excited about the man he will mature to be. So while I still have the opportunity, I am building myself up to be a role model for him so that he may admire who I am and what I ‘ve accomplished. It is very important to me that he be proud of who I am because I am a reflection of him as he is a reflection of me. I’m so grateful that for each accomplishment I’ve made he’s been there to witness me; from receiving my high school diploma to receiving my bachelors degree. So it was only natural, that when I was required to relocate due to my acceptance into law school, I packed my things and carried my little man along with me, despite naysayers who warned me it would be best to do otherwise. They advised me that it would be extremely difficult to live on my own in an area where I had no family or friends, care for my son, and be successful in my studies. (and there were others that simply laughed at my endeavor to pursue a law degree). Nonetheless, we moved, my son started a new school, and I began my law school journey as a young single mom. During the Christmas break I got engaged to the love of my life; a very special man to both me and my son. Now a year later from the time of our relocation, my son is graduating from his kindergarten class at his new school, I’ve successfully completed a whole year of law school, and we are now planning a wedding. What a journey! but I WOULDN’T TRADE IT FOR THE WORLD. This is MY journey. I didn’t start living until my son was born; I’m so thankful that he was able to guide me along the way. My experiences in life are what make me the person I am today. I never allowed for my circumstances to define me rather it is only the person I was when I emerged OUT of the circumstance that I allow to define me. My son will grow to know that he does not need to be perfect, but he needs to have a fighting spirit; one who will not give up upon adversity or even failure. Faith and courage allow you to make a step even if it seems you’re sure to fall. These are some of the things I hope my son will learn from me as he matures into adulthood.
Nobody said the road would be easy, but I don’t believe He brought me this far to leave me.
Sincerely,
A Proud Mommy
Hey Naturals,
Log on to www.kinks-rule.blogspot.com to view my latest (and first) 
featured interview. The interview also includes a photo that I’ve never previously posted,
Here is an excerpt from the interview:
What advice do you have for other naturals or those considering going natural?
Me: Just embrace what God has given you. Remember that it’s just hair so don’t go crazy and over the top with your regimen and trying to do the most with it. That will probably do more bad than good. Your natural hair journey will be a lot more enjoyable if you take that advice.
To view the entire interview visit www.kinks-rule.blogspot.com
Hey queens, I shall first start by saying I am really sorry for the extended period of time that I neglected to update my blog. Trust me, I have been feeling so guilty and deprived of not being able to blog. But I promise, despite my heavily demanding schedule, I will make a tremendous attempt to update much more frequently. I appreciate, all the new users that I have acquired recently, as well as the old ones. Thank you for each and every time you view my page…..I thought I would share with you all where I am now in my hair journey. My 1 year natural hair mark was September 11th and the above photos show my growth during that time period. I am really loving the progress that I have made. In the above pictures I partially pinned up one side of my hair and let the rest free. I used a little ecostyler gel to help neatly pin the sides up. I wear my hair like this a lot actually. I find myself experimenting with styles as of lately, some that work out better than others. This one is just very simple and quick so it works very well for me. Very soon, I will share with you all the changes I have made in my hair regimen.
Stay Naturally Fabulous Queens
The other day while at work I was engaged in a conversation with one of my coworkers about ways people can prepare themselves to become better competitors for employment opportunities. She began to give examples of how people can be more presentable in professional environments during an interview; a firm handshake, proper attire, an impressive resume, and a clean neat haircut whereby she deemed dreads as ‘inappropriate.’ I was taken aback. Not long ago, I was reading an article about a boy who was refused from a school because of his locs despite the fact that he was more than qualified to attend. Descrimination at it’s finest. Personally, I believe whether his dreads were an extension of his religious beliefs or not, he still has the right to style his natural hair in dread locs and not have them define him. Dreads are not only an extension of religion, it’s also an extension of CULTURE and that is something that no one has the right to take away or frown upon. I could see more with my co worker if she had said ‘neatly styled dreads’ but she eliminated dreads altogether. She just associated it unprofessionalism right off the top. Why? Dread locs are a form of styling for natural black hair and it’s been worn since the biblical days. There are plenty of professional intelligent successful black men and women who wear their hair in dreads and hold noteworthy positions. It must be a result of ignorance when it comes to our culture or maybe more so a result of rejecting our culture.
O what we do for the sake of healthy hair! We’ve created a community based on the love of our hair and the quest to optimally care for it by educating each other. We take the knowledge learned and abide by them, unquestionably, in hopes of attaining lustrous strong locks. We firmly stay clear of ingredients in which we’ve learned just simply don’t have our hair’s best interest in mind. Adapting to what seems like a new world of hair care is at first very challenging but we indubitably abide. Sadly this same firm commitment often does not carry over into the health of our bodies. We don’t spend hours researching the best ways to care for it and we most definitely don’t stay clear of all the things we undeniably know certainly don’t have our health as an interest. Sadly, I am guilty of this too. Ironically, myself and many others who are committed to the health of their hair, knows that what we put into our bodies manifests itself outside. Having a healthy diet is beneficial to your overall health and will make itself evident through our hair, nails, and skin. We know this all too well which is why we take pills such as biotin, prenatal, and b-complex vitamins. But just imagine what other transformations would take place if we drank more water, excercised more often (or any at all), and ate healthy foods such as carrots and berries.
Water, for obvious reasons is healthy, and it’s hydrating advances help skin look its best while assisting with the provision of transportation of nutrients. Lack of water intake can be disadvantageous in ways that may not be overtly noticeable. It’s reported by many women that a healthy intake of water helps the growth and overall health of hair. That is not hard to believe seeing as water is the most important ingredient needed to moisturize our hair. What’s even more interesting is that dehydration causes the parts of the body that require water for survival to utilize whatever water is available, leaving parts such as the scalp to go without. A dehydrated scalp is obviously incondusive to healthy hair.
Excercising is not only good for toning but it’s a known fact that it improves self esteem, reduces stress, and advances mental outlook. Not only that, but it also has beneficial affects for hair and skin. Excersing increases blood flow that carries oxygen and nutrients throughout the body. Anything that allows for healthy circulation throughout the body results in improved skin condition. The scalp is part of your skin and therefore, the hair will benefit from the increased blood circulation and increased nutrient flow.
Healthy foods such as carrots and berries provide much needed nutrients that aide in healthy hair and skin. They are full of antioxidants amongst other things that fight against free radicals and the oxidation of cells. Therefore, incorporatin these nutrients into your diet is advicable and also essential to truly acheive healthy beautiful skin and hair.
As I get further into my natural hair journey I am increasingly more AWARE of my diet and the things that are labeled ‘good’ vs. not ’good’ for my body. Although I have become more aware of these things I haven’t made any real committment towards it. Subtle changes Yes, but real committment No.Why is it that it seems even more difficult to commit to a healthy diet when we have already decidingly made a complete 360 degree change in our hair care so readily? It shows that the problem is not the lack of capability to commit. Surely our hair can’t be more important than our bodies.
I had this woman approach me earlier this week curious about ‘how I get my hair to look like that?‘ ‘That‘ would be my twist out, of course. She, herself, wore her hair natural but it was pinned in some sort of updo. As I began to explain, she stated ‘I could never get my hair to look like that. Even when it was short….I think my hair is too Nappy!’ GASP! Too Nappy??!! It saddens me to hear women still talk like this. The real sad part about it is that by the looks of it, we probably have the same hair texture. Which means that the biggest difference between me and her is that I haven’t limited my hair with the belief that its too nappy. I take the time and energy to continue to learn and try things with it and if she did the same her hair could probably look the ways she desires. I know that not everything that works for one natural will work for the other but her excuse of it being ‘too nappy’ was just sad to me. Give me something else like ‘my hair doesn’t respond well’ or ‘maybe I’m missing a crucial step to getting it to look like that’ but please not the ‘too nappy’ excuse. (sigh) So I referred her to the Shea Moisture brand seeing as that’s what I use to acheive my twist outs. I told her she could find them at any Walgreens store and that she shoud definately try them. I have type 4 hair and I say it’s time to rid ourselves of the negative stigma that people place on our hair. Only ourselves can free our minds from mental slavery. Too Nappy??!! There is no such thing.
When I decided to ask my sister to cut off my hair, the overall goal was to grow strong healthy lustrous hair. I did not want to continue DEPENDING on a perm or a weave to style my hair in ways that would make me feel good. I visited the hairdresser at least 2x’s a month religiously and still I was experiencing extremely damaged hair and even hairloss. The hairdressers did nothing to treat the actual problem, instead they simply styled around it. Styling is becoming way more important than health in many salons now-a-days. I had to ask myself the question, ‘Which one was more important to me’? Now I’m 10 months into my natural hair journey and getting closer and closer to my goals.
My Natural Hair Goals
1. Obtaining enough length to pull my hair into a simple chic bun. A bun is a FAST and easy way to style natural hair. Also, it’s appropriate for any setting whether it be formal, professional, or casual.
2. Knowing how to acheive a successful wash and go without my hair crunching up into an angry frizz ball when dry. At this point in my journey, a wash and go is a definite NO NO. The results are terrifying actually; no amount of gel or conditioner can stop my hair from drying into a dreadful sight. Once my hair grew out of the teeny weeny afro phase I put the wash and go technique out the door. But I just may attempt it again someday thanks to JenellyBean from KinkyCurlyCoilyMe who actually did a tutorial on her wash and go technique. We have very similar hair textures in the 4b/c range so her techniques and tutorials are extremely helpful and informative.
JenellyBean of KinkyCurlyCoilyMe.com wash n go
3. Obtaining enough length to be able to situate my hair decently at night so that when I wake up I am not shocked by what my bed shapes and creates on my head. I can’t wait until I can do big twists at night that lay down and that I can possibly neatly pin up so that when I wake up it’s not a lot of chaos going on. At this point in my journey, my twists are itty bitty so that I can not twist them big because I haven’t achieved the length for that yet. So they have to be done fairly small. Because of that I spend about an hour preparing my hair at night and then when I wake in the morning they are standing up every which way. So being able to do bigger twists will save ALOT of time and also allow me to wake up looking alot better too. 
CollegeCurlies.blogspot.com author
4. Adding cinnamon brown highlights to my hair. I think it adds such a flair to the overall look. I am so excited but I didn’t want to do it while it is still so very short and while I haven’t fully mastered my hair routine. I will treat myself to highlights for my one year natural hair anniversary, which is approaching really quickly. This will be done professionally of course.
5. Mastering my hair routine. Knowing how to care for your hair and watching the postive changes unfold is a great empowering feeling. I want to get to the point where when my hair ‘behaves’ unruly I will know exactly the solution. (I’m getting there…..It’s definately a learning process.) It’s called a natural hair JOURNEY for a reason. There will be no instant gratification. Patience is a virtue.
May you enjoy a fantabulous Independence Day. I know you all are going to be looking fierce today and I want to see how you all wore your hair in light of the holiday. I will showcase them on the site as well as the facebook page. Email the pics to CsonyaQT@gmail.com with the subject ‘Independence Day Hair.’
